Purpose

One of my biggest purposes, being "mom"

I had a friend refer to her state of life right now as being "on a shelf". I relate to that. I am not sure my shelf life...God doesn't stamp me with a date, unfortunately. All I can say is that it has felt like a really long time. Where at first I was a little uncomfortable with it, not wanting to be set aside, not wanting my purpose taken away.  My purpose? What does that mean? God delights in us and wants us to delight in abiding in Him.  His whole purpose for me ends when I take my gaze off of Him.  He is jealous for us.  How special I am to Him when I am put aside to be with Him.  How is my purpose shifted and where do we separate?  I am in Him and He is in me and if I am not "my" purpose becomes insignificant. I am not sitting on a shelf by myself He is sitting with me. Sometimes we need to sit with Him more than we know and He pulls us aside for our own good or when we won't put ourselves aside. He loves us that much.

Life is full of busy seasons and noise, but for me I am gazing at Jesus and content to be here, doing the thing that I was meant for...loving Him. So if you find yourself "on a shelf", know that it is only for a time and that He is doing something in you...preparing you for the future, wanting to impart to you wisdom, but most importantly wishing to have you to Himself. This is the way to be content. I don't want to fill life with noise and when it becomes too loud I want to be disciplined enough to shut it off; to step back, because without His voice in me I am just spinning my wheels; a loud gong; a selfish being.
How is His purpose working in you?  Are you spinning your wheels searching for significance or are you embracing your worth in just being? Be content to wait on God with the knowledge that when we are in Him there is no separation, we are living out His plan for us.

Proverbs 16:9  The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. 

Isaiah 25:1 O Lord, you are God; I will exalt you;I will praise your name, for you have done wonderful things, plans formed of old, faithful and sure.

More Than a Conqueror

 I had this in the Drafts, of my blog posts for a year and decided that I would post it.  I feel it is appropriate after watching the 2012 Olympics and as we prepare to return to Russia.

 I ran 13.2 miles.  That is I ran a 1/2 marathon race.
 Now some people would say, "Why?!"  I think partly for my own pleasure and partly to prove to myself that I could.
I am not the courageous person some might think. I have an ugly secret, I like to take the easy road, and sometimes I quit. I doubt myself and wonder if I really am able.

During the months I trained scripture verses on 'running the race set before me', 'spiritual discipline being much more profitable than physical', and 'running to win the prize' all played in my head like a song. One thing that kept kicking around in my head was accepting that, in my struggle to discipline myself to do my best, I couldn't do this for others; it was just for me. No matter how much I want to, I can't make choices for others, I can only encourage, and hope to inspire by my own choices. It is true that we are "church" but we are individuals that will in the end stand alone before God.   In a world that is so interlinked and globalized this can be a lonely thought. My FB friends will not be coming with me when I face my Maker...and my Maker will not care that I have a network of 1000+ FB friends ( I don't really), but I will account for what people do not see or know, no matter what I post on Twitter, FB, or this blog. He knows the secret places of my heart.

Race day all my thoughts were on one thing, am I doing the best I can or am I selling myself short because I am too afraid to be all that I can be... afraid to fail, to succeed...afraid of what others might think. I had already decided to dedicate my run to my mom and of course to God. And then I realized, mom was not a conqueror, she didn't exude confidence and strength, she fell short of perfect in lots of ways, just like me. But when she gave her heart to Jesus she was transformed and she could not be anything less than a conqueror because she believed and confessed in what she could not deny. She was perfectly imperfect, working out her faith and running her race one leg at a time.  
You may face new challenges today. You may think you can't...say, live across the world away from all you have ever known as home and family and comfort. I didn't either, but God, He gives me the power to say, "Yes!" everyday. He has already given me victory and I learn to lean hard on him. He has put me in training and I sometimes want to be lazy, or find myself afraid of what new things He will put in front of me once over this hill...maybe a mountain, or maybe a straight flat easy trail. Whatever it is, I can do it with Him propelling me.
I ran that 1/2 marathon and I had a chance to share my testimony with some people running with me, of a believing mom who wasn't afraid to pray healing over me. Every time I run I am reminded of that healing from asthma, with every breath I take and thank God. I finished the race strong in a sprint over the finish-line. What a great feeling it was to know I had done the best I could, that all the training had prepared me for a strong finish.
What kind of training does God have you in now?  Don't fight it, embrace it and know that with Him you can do anything He puts in front of you today. When I stand before Him I want to have no regrets, but not because of anything I have done but what He did as I took courageous steps with Him to live a life for His glory.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,"   Heb 12:1

Pecan-Cinnamon Sticky Buns

I had to share this recipe after  mentioning it in the last post. I believe everyone deserves the pleasure of biting into one of them. Don't let the length of this recipe scare you. Give it a try, it is so worth it!

DOUGH
 1 Tablespoon sugar
2 envelopes dry yeast
1/4 cup warm water
1/3 cup sugar
3 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 Cup whole milk
1/2 Cup unsalted butter
5 1/4 - 5 3/4 cup all purpose flour
butter softened for greasing bowl and pans

Directions:
In a small bowl dissolve the 1 Tablespoon sugar and yeast in warm water. Stir to combine and let stand about 5 minutes or until mixture is bubbly. Combine the 1/3 cup of sugar, eggs, salt. vanilla, milk, 1/2 cup melted butter, and foamy yest mixture. blend at low speed until smooth.  At same low speed add the flour, 1/2 cup at a time mixing until well combined.  Knead 3-5 minutes until dough is smooth and elastic. Butter a large bowl. Gather dough into a ball and place in bowl, turn dough to coat.  Cover bowl tightly, set aside set aside in a warm place to rise until doubled in bulk 1 - 1 1/2 hours.

CARAMEL PECAN TOPPING
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup butter (unsalted)
1/4 cup light corn syrup or honey
1 1/2 cup pecan hlaves or large pieces.  *toasted
2 Tablespoons sea salt
Directions:
In medium sauce pan combine brown sugar, butter, corn syrup (or honey), and salt. Bring to boiling over medium heat. Simmer uncovered for 1-2 minute or until butter is melted and combined. Meanwhile butter 2 9x1 1/2 inch round baking pans. Sprinkle half of pecans in the bottom of each pan. Drizzle 1/2 of the  caramel topping over the pecans in each pan. Sprinkle 1/2 tablespoon kosher salt or sea salt per pan, over caramel topping. Set aside to cool.
  
                                                                           CINNAMON-SUGAR FILLING*
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon
3/4 cup of coarsely chopped pecans toasted
2/3 cup of currants/raisins (optional)

Directions:
In a small bowl combine brown sugar, sugar, cinnamon, and toasted pecans. Stir in currants if desired. Set aside. Reserve 3 Tablespoons butter

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
 After the dough has doubled in size punch it down and knead it on a floured surface for 3 minutes than let it rest for 10 minutes.
Roll dough out into a 12 x 18 rectangle. Cover with the reserved 3 tablespoons of butter.  Sprinkle cinnamon-sugar filling evenly and 1/2 inch in from the edge of the dough.  Starting from the edge of the long side of the rectangle roll dough carefully, pinching edge to seal (not ends).  Cut into 14 even slices. I usually get  2 inches thick slices.  Arrange seven rolls to each round cake pan.  Cover. Set in fridge to slowly rise over-night.
BAKING
Take rolls out of fridge in the morning  and let stand at room temperature about 1/2 hour before baking, while preheating oven to 350 degrees.  While baking I put a drip pan under them to catch whatever caramel that bubbles over.  Bake for 30 - 35 minutes or until gold brown.  Remove from oven and carefully invert them onto a serving plate.

* For frosted cinnamon rolls instead of caramel rolls you can skip the caramel topping and top with frosting when done baking.  My frosting goes something like this:   2 tablespoons softened butter, 2 cups of powdered sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla, and 4 tablespoons or more depending on desired thickness.  Whip it all together and that's it!  

"The day you were born..."

Noah on his 15th birthday (this year) in WI Dells. It's not a crown but close enough.

Living as we do in perpetual transition and settling; back and forth; here and there, has created many traditions.  I know that you would think the opposite true but I found that the more I put into making certain things a norm while living at Grandma's or somewhere on the road, is important to my kids.
One thing the kids almost always ask for is my cinnamon rolls for their birthday breakfast. Years ago I found this great overnight cinnamon roll recipe and since then it has been the only recipe I will use.  It makes cinnamon rolls, caramel rolls, or both, if you choose, and I do most of the time.

Jonah this year, on his 11th birthday.

Another thing that I do for birthdays is make my kids a crown, well, until they say, "Mom, I don't need a crown anymore."  and then I go off to hide and cry because all my babies are growing up way too fast!

So far the only "mature" one is Noah.  Haillie adheres to the Peter Pan motto, "I'll never grow up!  I am going to be a child forever!"

Haillie, sweet 16, 2011. Wearing a fairy flower crown.

Silas, this year on his 9th birthday.

As they eat their cinnamon roll while wearing their crown I tell them about the day they were born.  I sometimes get choked up before the end but it always ends with laughter, as we talk about the time Dad made me labor in the car while he drove through the McDonald's drive-thru because he obviously needed his energy to get through the birth (Yes, that was sarcasm.) or how Haillie thought Noah was her baby from the day he came home.
Yes, I have been known to throw over-the-top kid parties with cakes to match, and homemade pinatas, because Russians never learned the skill of pinata making, but those days are slowing down each year my kids get older *sigh* and not always practical when you are driving to Moldova.
So even if we are riding through Hungary and singing Happy Birthday while going through the border, we always find a way through old traditions or making new ones, to celebrate the lives of each of our children.

What traditions does your family have for birthdays?  What crazy or fun globetrotting birthday stories does your family have?

2008, Silas's 5th birthday at Ice Rink Palace, Budapest, Hungary.  On the road to Austria to renew our Russian visas.