We didn't realize when we came home, in a swirl of bittersweet emotion of anticipation, of seeing our family at such an important time of year as Christmas, and frustration ,by the circumstances of being forced to leave Russia because of visa problems, that God was blessing us.
We spent precious time with both of our families and enjoyed the chaos of having the Broberg Clan all together for Christmas. The day after Christmas, Mark's father, David Broberg, suddenly. passed away due to an aneurysm. We walked through pain and heartache we have never felt before but praised God for His mercy in having us here and allowing us to have such a beautiful Christmas memory. Our purpose seemed clear, we were meant to be here.
Not only were we here, but we had planned on living with David and Jean while home. So, again, our purpose was confirmed and we hoped to be a comfort to her during this time of adjustment to living without David. In my mind I thought I was there for her, but now I know she was there for me...to show me how to live in God's grace and joy everyday, even in great heartache, excepting and acknowledging the sovereignty of God in all things.
Last week I lost my mom. A few days after enjoying a wonderful Easter celebration with my parents, my mom got very sick and so we rushed her into the ER. The diagnosis was pancreatitis, which at the time didn't seem to be life threatening. After a couple of days we were told that her case was very serious and on her third day she was put on sedation to be intubated (respiratory support) which meant lots of tubes down her throat and nose. Little did I know that, that would be the last time I would be able to converse with my mom, even through her struggled breathing. I was in constant conversation with God arguing that it would be too much for us to lose another parent, another grandparent, another person out of our already disjointed life, but 3 days later, after haunting reminiscent scenes of updates from doctors, hospital hallways, and serious conference room talks, I was saying goodbye again to a parent. I never thought I could go through the pain of losing someone I have loved, learned from, and needed as much as a parent, but as I walked through this nightmare again, I realized the ironic cruel yet sweet way God had prepared me in our first loss to accept His sovereignty in good and bad, having faith for a miracle and grace to trust Him even in death.
My mom was a fun loving, joy! She always took time to speak life into me with passion, inspiring me to do more then I ever thought possible. She cheered me on in all I did, as my biggest fan. She was my friend, confidant, and personal prayer warrior.
When I was little I was very sick with asthma and spent a lot of time in the hospital. I would cry to my mom about not being able to run and play with the other kids because I couldn't breathe. My mom, being a new Christian then, was ready to put her faith in action and prayed healing over me. The next day before she went to work I was showing signs of an asthma attack. In the midst of her doubt she felt the Holy Spirit telling her that I was His and He was in control. As she left that day she released me into His hands once again in prayer, and fear and doubt left her. When she returned home I was running and playing outside with my friends and I have never had another asthma attack. I was healed through a prayer spoken in faith by my mom.
Mark's father, David, and my mother, Mary, spent their lives passing on faith in Jesus, not just to us but to everyone they could, in words and by example. A son has lost his father and now must be the baton carrier of faith for his own sons. A daughter has lost her mother, and I too have been given the baton of faith to pass on to our children. I am running to win the prize.
Job, in the midst of great loss and pain said, "Though he slay me yet will I hope in him. " I may never understand, but in the river of tears and at the center of my pain I too say, though you slay me I will trust and hope in you, Lord. This life is a blink compared to eternity so I will continue to have faith to move mountains like mom taught me and rejoice in the thought of my mom enjoying her prize.
