Being Thankful in Times of Plenty

I am having a little trouble getting it into my head that I am here.  This is not a temporary time of fund raising this is home now, permanently.  Well...for now anyways.  For instance, I have not bought any furniture, I am comfortable with our garage-sale-second-hand-furniture, and I can't get myself to commit to actually investing in something new.  We are still using a desk as a kitchen table and when we need to entertain we set up one or two of the church's plastic folding tables.
This week with Easter coming I have been gathering my precious candy like it was treasure, reminded by my missionary friends who are right now wishing for a Reese's peanut butter egg, that this stuff is like gold!  I guess it is good that I am thankful.  Thankful for what I have.  Thankful that I have furniture, a nice bed to sleep on.  Thankful for the abundance of food that lines the shelves of the grocery stores available for me and that I have the means to buy that food.
In the middle of these thoughts God gave me this scripture in  Hosea 13: 5-6  It was I who knew you in the wilderness, in the land of drought, but when they had grazed they became full, they were filled and their heart was lifted up, therefore they forgot me. 
I have had real times of "wilderness".  Times where I cried out to God and He had to carry me through because I was powerless to lift myself out.  Times where only His divine intervention was the only hop I  had to get out.  In those times I was in my sweet spot, no matter how terrible the circumstances around me I was living victorious, fully relying on Him. He was close to me; He was so, so good to me.  As a matter of fact, I look back at those wilderness experiences as the best times of my life. Why?  Because nothing was taking His place and my heart was thankful. (This is key, my heart was thankful.) But it wasn't He who was closer or better to me, on the contrary, He never changes. I love how the Message puts this scripture: Lamentations 3:22-23 God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning.  How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over) He’s all I’ve got left.     
He is always faithful, always there, always for us! The problem is never Him it is us.  
Easter was my favorite Holiday in Russia.  It's long standing traditions are rooted in the Church. From the Kulich bread to the intricate egg decorating, which symbolizes Christ and the miracle of His life, death, and resurrection and the hope in new life that it gives. It is not uncommon to greet each other on the street during this holiday with the declaration, "Christ is Risen!"  which is responded by, "He is risen indeed!" The simplicity of life and the absence of stuff made Easter in Russia precious to me and the powerful meaning behind this traditional chant was real and raw to me.

This Easter I challenge you to remember your own wilderness experiences and let the fullness of the meaning of this holiday take hold in your heart and fill you with true gratitude.  Don't let your  "filled" life of blessings and goodness allow you to forget the one thing that is responsible for all of them.  Jesus never changes it is us who change, who forget and loose our way.  My personal prayer this Easter is this;
  Jesus, Let the condition of my heart be the compass to my sweet spot.  I want to be as close to you in the "filled" times as I am in the wilderness times of my life.  May my words, and actions always 'give thanks' to you in everything.

                               Христос воскрес! Воистину воскресе!
                               "Christ is risen!  He is risen indeed!

A Friend Loves at All Times

In my growing up years...when I was just a duckling learning to swim in the pond of life, my pond felt more like an ocean.  I was scared of my own shadow, as my dad would say, and I did not like change. But change we did...houses, schools, cities...and it was hard on this introverted little girl.  Then I met Jamie and Amy and my whole life begin to take on a new perspective. 

Me, Monica (cousin) and my sister Kelly.  Monica battled cancer but is in heaven now.

Now I am at a threshold of a room full of new friends who are anxious to know me, it seems such a long time away from that pond and that scared little duckling. I am quite different but the same.  I have learned to adapt and I have learned to swim with the help of my duckling friends who have traveled with me along the way.

Tina, Maria, and me. College friends who confused everyone by looking similar.

 So as I was thinking about this, names, faces, and memories of friends past were filling my mind. I can hear myself sharing stories of so many friends that I have lived life with, all with a unique place in my heart. I can say I have been blessed with the best friends over a lifetime that anyone could ever hope to have, each one teaching me something about life, about myself, about God's love that was unique to them.  My sister taught me so many things I don't think I can list them all but I will say she made life beautiful by shielding me from the ugly reality of life. I never really realized this until I was an adult. Jamie gave me confidence, taught me the love of music and how to sing. Rhea and Sonya showed me the strength quiet subtle people have and the art of giggling: Kerry helped me find my keys, helped me to think practical and is a faithful friend. Amy was accepting and sincere. Tina made me laugh a lot and kept me real. Becca loved everyone and everyone loved her she is a faithful true friend. Dina, represents so many great memories in my life, I am so thankful for a cousin who has been my lifelong friend and confidant.  Karin will always be my kindred a true servant friend with a big heart. Christine, Inna, Terri and Beth walked with me and listened to me during my darkest time of life so far, thank you. Nancy is all that I am not and makes me look at things in a different way. My sister-in-laws have been constant friends over all these years and have seen it all and still continue to be my friends. My mother whose passing has left a big hole in my life can never be replaced, who can you go to for anything and everything and cheers for all you do like you are a superhero?  My mother-in-law has given me so many gifts, one of the biggest is her son but there is more.  She taught me so much and loved me so genuinely, she is a true treasure... how many can say that about their mother-in-law? The list goes on, as do the memories of laughter, tears, pain and joy.

Missionary ladies in Russia.  So wonderful!

Like most people I find that I am drawn to a certain kind of person. It used to end up being people just like me or at least with many similarities. It wasn't until I was forced to share life with someone I never thought I would otherwise be friends with, that I realized how narcissistic I had been.  It wasn't until I opened up my heart and mind to understand the complexities of my friend did I see what treasures I was missing.  I appreciated her perspective her talents, that were so different then my own.  I am pretty sure that we surprised each other as we recognized God's character in the other.  I learned to not trust first impressions, that there is always "the rest of the story" hidden behind what we see at first.
When I think of the hardest lessons I have learned through friendships it can only come back to me, the way I handle disappointments, the grace I grant my friends, which in turn they give to me.  Can I grant her grace in her weakest moments? Can I allow her to be who God made her and encourage her and cheer for her with sincerity of heart. Can I go into a friendship looking for how I can be a friend to her or am I looking for what I can get? That is the key, when you expect what only can be given from a super hero (i.e. Jesus) you set yourself and your friends up for huge disappointment.

Rachel, Sarah, Jean, me and Jessica.  My sister-in-laws and mother-in-law.

I admit friendships at times have been a crutch to me, I would abuse them and use my friends to fulfill some empty part in me that needed approval, validation, or companion to keep me company and entertain me.  God has stripped me a few times in my life of my friendships, and in those times of loneliness taught me to depend on Him and in that way showed me that He was jealous for me. Even so friendships are gifts that give back and make this journey of life easier and sweeter and I have learned to be a better friend in those lonely days by making Him my anchor in life, not others.

Me, Aunt Lynette, Nancy and Jennifer.  Family and missionary friends.

I don't think my friendship lessons are done, and as I anticipate all the new relationships that are in store for me I want to be ready to see with the eyes of God, love with his heart and give the grace that I need for myself.

 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17

 “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”  Winnie the Pooh

Becca, me, Kerry, and Kirstin.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.  C.S. Lewis