Being Thankful in Times of Plenty

I am having a little trouble getting it into my head that I am here.  This is not a temporary time of fund raising this is home now, permanently.  Well...for now anyways.  For instance, I have not bought any furniture, I am comfortable with our garage-sale-second-hand-furniture, and I can't get myself to commit to actually investing in something new.  We are still using a desk as a kitchen table and when we need to entertain we set up one or two of the church's plastic folding tables.
This week with Easter coming I have been gathering my precious candy like it was treasure, reminded by my missionary friends who are right now wishing for a Reese's peanut butter egg, that this stuff is like gold!  I guess it is good that I am thankful.  Thankful for what I have.  Thankful that I have furniture, a nice bed to sleep on.  Thankful for the abundance of food that lines the shelves of the grocery stores available for me and that I have the means to buy that food.
In the middle of these thoughts God gave me this scripture in  Hosea 13: 5-6  It was I who knew you in the wilderness, in the land of drought, but when they had grazed they became full, they were filled and their heart was lifted up, therefore they forgot me. 
I have had real times of "wilderness".  Times where I cried out to God and He had to carry me through because I was powerless to lift myself out.  Times where only His divine intervention was the only hop I  had to get out.  In those times I was in my sweet spot, no matter how terrible the circumstances around me I was living victorious, fully relying on Him. He was close to me; He was so, so good to me.  As a matter of fact, I look back at those wilderness experiences as the best times of my life. Why?  Because nothing was taking His place and my heart was thankful. (This is key, my heart was thankful.) But it wasn't He who was closer or better to me, on the contrary, He never changes. I love how the Message puts this scripture: Lamentations 3:22-23 God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning.  How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over) He’s all I’ve got left.     
He is always faithful, always there, always for us! The problem is never Him it is us.  
Easter was my favorite Holiday in Russia.  It's long standing traditions are rooted in the Church. From the Kulich bread to the intricate egg decorating, which symbolizes Christ and the miracle of His life, death, and resurrection and the hope in new life that it gives. It is not uncommon to greet each other on the street during this holiday with the declaration, "Christ is Risen!"  which is responded by, "He is risen indeed!" The simplicity of life and the absence of stuff made Easter in Russia precious to me and the powerful meaning behind this traditional chant was real and raw to me.

This Easter I challenge you to remember your own wilderness experiences and let the fullness of the meaning of this holiday take hold in your heart and fill you with true gratitude.  Don't let your  "filled" life of blessings and goodness allow you to forget the one thing that is responsible for all of them.  Jesus never changes it is us who change, who forget and loose our way.  My personal prayer this Easter is this;
  Jesus, Let the condition of my heart be the compass to my sweet spot.  I want to be as close to you in the "filled" times as I am in the wilderness times of my life.  May my words, and actions always 'give thanks' to you in everything.

                               Христос воскрес! Воистину воскресе!
                               "Christ is risen!  He is risen indeed!

A Friend Loves at All Times

In my growing up years...when I was just a duckling learning to swim in the pond of life, my pond felt more like an ocean.  I was scared of my own shadow, as my dad would say, and I did not like change. But change we did...houses, schools, cities...and it was hard on this introverted little girl.  Then I met Jamie and Amy and my whole life begin to take on a new perspective. 

Me, Monica (cousin) and my sister Kelly.  Monica battled cancer but is in heaven now.

Now I am at a threshold of a room full of new friends who are anxious to know me, it seems such a long time away from that pond and that scared little duckling. I am quite different but the same.  I have learned to adapt and I have learned to swim with the help of my duckling friends who have traveled with me along the way.

Tina, Maria, and me. College friends who confused everyone by looking similar.

 So as I was thinking about this, names, faces, and memories of friends past were filling my mind. I can hear myself sharing stories of so many friends that I have lived life with, all with a unique place in my heart. I can say I have been blessed with the best friends over a lifetime that anyone could ever hope to have, each one teaching me something about life, about myself, about God's love that was unique to them.  My sister taught me so many things I don't think I can list them all but I will say she made life beautiful by shielding me from the ugly reality of life. I never really realized this until I was an adult. Jamie gave me confidence, taught me the love of music and how to sing. Rhea and Sonya showed me the strength quiet subtle people have and the art of giggling: Kerry helped me find my keys, helped me to think practical and is a faithful friend. Amy was accepting and sincere. Tina made me laugh a lot and kept me real. Becca loved everyone and everyone loved her she is a faithful true friend. Dina, represents so many great memories in my life, I am so thankful for a cousin who has been my lifelong friend and confidant.  Karin will always be my kindred a true servant friend with a big heart. Christine, Inna, Terri and Beth walked with me and listened to me during my darkest time of life so far, thank you. Nancy is all that I am not and makes me look at things in a different way. My sister-in-laws have been constant friends over all these years and have seen it all and still continue to be my friends. My mother whose passing has left a big hole in my life can never be replaced, who can you go to for anything and everything and cheers for all you do like you are a superhero?  My mother-in-law has given me so many gifts, one of the biggest is her son but there is more.  She taught me so much and loved me so genuinely, she is a true treasure... how many can say that about their mother-in-law? The list goes on, as do the memories of laughter, tears, pain and joy.

Missionary ladies in Russia.  So wonderful!

Like most people I find that I am drawn to a certain kind of person. It used to end up being people just like me or at least with many similarities. It wasn't until I was forced to share life with someone I never thought I would otherwise be friends with, that I realized how narcissistic I had been.  It wasn't until I opened up my heart and mind to understand the complexities of my friend did I see what treasures I was missing.  I appreciated her perspective her talents, that were so different then my own.  I am pretty sure that we surprised each other as we recognized God's character in the other.  I learned to not trust first impressions, that there is always "the rest of the story" hidden behind what we see at first.
When I think of the hardest lessons I have learned through friendships it can only come back to me, the way I handle disappointments, the grace I grant my friends, which in turn they give to me.  Can I grant her grace in her weakest moments? Can I allow her to be who God made her and encourage her and cheer for her with sincerity of heart. Can I go into a friendship looking for how I can be a friend to her or am I looking for what I can get? That is the key, when you expect what only can be given from a super hero (i.e. Jesus) you set yourself and your friends up for huge disappointment.

Rachel, Sarah, Jean, me and Jessica.  My sister-in-laws and mother-in-law.

I admit friendships at times have been a crutch to me, I would abuse them and use my friends to fulfill some empty part in me that needed approval, validation, or companion to keep me company and entertain me.  God has stripped me a few times in my life of my friendships, and in those times of loneliness taught me to depend on Him and in that way showed me that He was jealous for me. Even so friendships are gifts that give back and make this journey of life easier and sweeter and I have learned to be a better friend in those lonely days by making Him my anchor in life, not others.

Me, Aunt Lynette, Nancy and Jennifer.  Family and missionary friends.

I don't think my friendship lessons are done, and as I anticipate all the new relationships that are in store for me I want to be ready to see with the eyes of God, love with his heart and give the grace that I need for myself.

 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17

 “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”  Winnie the Pooh

Becca, me, Kerry, and Kirstin.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.  C.S. Lewis 

There and back again.

Mark, Sergei, and Alexei. Russian Royal Ranger leaders seeing us off at the airport.

One thing I never thought I would be saying is, "I am a missionary to Russia."  Now I am having a hard time saying goodbye to that part of my life.

A sure sign of a globe trotting kid.

Yes, it's official. In a whirlwind of prayer, phone calls, meetings, prayer, more prayer and than acceptance of, not only the position of lead pastor of Good News Assembly of God in Ishpeming, MI, but of the new direction God was surely leading us, we have officially resigned as missionaries.  Oh, I am still praying...praying for wisdom; for all the loved ones we left in Russia and the continued ministry there ; for the adjustments we are going through; for the many people of this great church we are so privileged to be a part of; for a new home; for decision of schooling for the kids; for the pastor and family we will hire to come join our team;  for language acquisition as I learn the Yooper language. (thought my new Yooper friends would like that one.)

She hates airplane travel but loved growing up in Russia.

 It proves to be harder to leave than it was to go to this historically feared, massive, country of  Russia.  It was a good journey, a journey I wasn't sure I would make it through and then one I had a hard time leaving.  Just as when we left this country obeying God in what seemed to be hard, once again we are obeying and it has given me such mixed feelings of sorrow and joy.

What may have been our last trip over the ocean all together.

While we were back in Russia for the month of November taking  physical steps of obedience by selling and packing our belongings, reality hit as I watched my furniture go out the door and grief set in. Not grief for my furniture, but for a life we lived and a people and country we have loved for so many years. Life is unpredictable What we think is best, is usually not God's best for us... for His purpose in us.  And if I have learned anything in all these years of ministry it is that God's timing is perfect, even though, I did a white knuckle stubborn hold, He made it clear over and over that this was His timing and this was our "Jerusalem".
Here is where I need to explain the significance of Ishpeming for us. Mark's father was the pastor of this church when Mark was just about Haillie's age.  It has held a pretty special place in Mark's heart all these years and it really is like coming home.

My neighbors. Saying goodbye.

So that is our  story.  God called us to Russia.. we answered that call.  We were  missionaries to Russia for 13 years.  God called us back to "live dead" right here in America...He taught us how. He stripped away the garbage in our lives and taught us to live fully in Him.  Do you know that feeling when someone has swiped your leg and you feel yourself falling...that's how I feel now.  We were content to stay in Russia and all we had come to know as home and ministry when He swiped our legs and here we are falling and depending on Him to catch us, depending on Him for what we cannot do ourselves.

MK (missionary kid) gang.  The Broberg/Hayes kids always made life an adventure.

Someone asked , "when did you stop feeling called to missions?"  My answer, "I haven't!"  We are all called to missions, to act in some way to tell the whole world about Jesus.  I look forward to continuing my missions calling from a different location and position...my wandering isn't over.  So I won't say "goodbye, Russia" only, "see you later."

Simon the Friendly Giant. One of the greatest MA's around! 

I read the boys The Hobbit this December and I saw the metaphor of my life in  Bilbo's adventure and felt kindred to his plight and sentiments, from his feelings of inadequacy to his triumphs over fears and foes. At the end of the book as he is traveling back and his home is almost in view, he sings this song:

Roads go ever ever on,

Over rock and under tree,

By caves where never sun has shone,

By streams that never find the sea;

Over snow by winter sown,

And through the merry flowers of June,

Over grass and over stone,

And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on

Under cloud and under star,

Yet feet that wandering have gone

Turn at last to home afar.

Eyes that fire and sword have seen

And horror in the halls of stone

Look at last on meadows green

And trees and hills they long have known.

Gandolf looked at him. "My dear Bilbo!" he said. "Something is the matter with you! You are not the same hobbit that you were."

 

So it is I am not the same "hobbit" as I was. My adventure has forever changed me.

Haillie and Inna.  She was a great blessing to us! We miss you!

 Finally, they returned by ship to Antioch of Syria, where their journey had begun. The believers there had entrusted them to the grace of God to do the work they had now completed. Acts 14:26 NLT