Investing

So I said "here I am, Lord, send me..."   The impulse to go, to heed his bidding, to fill a hole of need in His plan to redeem the world...till everyone has heard.

We are flying "home" to Russia today and  I was reflecting on the work we have done over the past 12 years. When I first came over I thought about all the things I could do for the Russian people, how I could change the world with my love and compassion.  I came expecting to be needed and greeted with great gratitude for the sacrifice I was making in coming to a place so far and out of my comfort zone.  But none of that happened. Quite the opposite to be truthful.  I was not highly esteemed at once. I was not easily welcomed. I was not winning the masses to Christ.  And as I learned the heartbeat of the church and the soul of  the Russian people my experienced knowledge of what it meant to be a Christian (to love the unlovable) was put to the test and defined in real life examples playing out before me. I was taken from a culture with standards and ways that were predictable to a culture that held little to none of those same standards.
Little did I know then that somewhere along the way instead of changing the world I was doing the changing.  I learned the meaning of sacrifice, and I am not talking about my own but others who have gone through real trials in the name of Christ, and yet refer to their faith as nothing compared to yet other believers in countries where people face life and death situations almost daily. I learned how to love, really love, even when faced with hate.
And when I think about all these things I think about my hoarding ways. I have hoarded spiritual blessings along with physical blessings that have been given to me through the history of this Christian nation and through parents who made the decision to walk with Jesus.  I benefited from these sacrifices and decisions, paying very little price for the luxury of wealth.
 I have watched, as if looking in a mirror of situations played out in front of me of the perception of giving but a deception seen inside of hearts that give only what is easy or what will satisfy the conscience and the outward appearance. What happens to all this built up wealth? Does it accumulate? What happens when I don't heed the Holy Spirit when he says go, give, love?  What blessings am I forfeiting when I choose to give enough to look good, but ignore the Holy Spirits voice to give more than I can "afford"?  Do my riches spoil, turning into a stench like garbage?  What am I investing in?
13 years ago, when I decided to go I was giving out of my excess but when I decided to stay I was giving all that I had, depleting my storehouses, gaining wealth that can never be measured. 
We are often challenged by God to reach beyond our own grasp, because His arms are larger than ours and His storehouses are always full.  I continue to try and be courageous in answering that call to reach beyond my grasp.

,"...to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." Luke 12:4

 ⁸ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy,^[a] drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.  Matthew 10:8